PFT 2008 All-Time, All-Turd Team
ProFootballTalk.com assembled their 2008 All-Time, All-Turd Team. I love these types of things because they’re pretty funny. I summed the amount of players who ended up playing for teams in the NFC East. The Cowboys had 8 turds (This does not include T.O. because I added him to the Eagles since he was a bigger problem there), the Redskins had 5 turds, the Eagles had 4 turds, and the Giants had 2 turds. The players for each team are listed below along with the reason why they made PFT’s list.
Dallas Cowboys
- Michael Irvin, WR, Cowboys - “No one can dispute his talent or performance, but off the field the guy was King Turd. Drugs, adultery, etc. Irvin pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession charges in July 1996. Sure, he’s in the Hall of Fame now. But even Irvin realizes that his non-football exploits arguably make him unfit for that honor.”
- Lance Rentzel, WR, Vikings, Cowboys, Rams - “Arrested for exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl. Even worse, he married Joey Heatherton.”
- Nate Newton, G, Cowboys - “Arrested for marijuana possession. 213 pounds of it. Five weeks later, he got busted again with “only” 175 pounds.”
- Duane Thomas, RB, Cowboys - “Piss-poor attitude and drug use killed a promising career. Thomas once said of the Super Bowl, “If it’s the ultimate [game], how come they play it every year?“”
- Leon Lett, DE, Cowboys - “Suspended for a year for violation of the substance abuse policy, Lett is best known for two of the most memorable blunders in league history — a premature celebration on a fumble return for a touchdown in the Super Bowl and the dumb-assed decision to try to recover a blocked field goal on the snow-covered Texas Stadium green cement that gave the Fins another chance at the kick, sealing his team’s fate.”
- Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson, LB, Cowboys, Oilers, 49ers - “The original LT, Henderson’s cocaine craze ended his career not long after it started. In 2000, he won $28 million in the lottery.”
- Adam “Pacman” Jones, CB, Titans, Cowboys - “Through a string of brushes with the law and a failure to seem to understand the connection between his behavior and its consequences, Jones became the poster boy for bad behavior in the NFL.”
- Rafael Septien, K, Cowboys - “Pleaded guilty in 1987 to charges of indecency with a 10-year-old girl.”
It is no surprise that the Cowboys have more than the rest of the division. Good thing I’m not a fan of the Raiders, there’s probably dozens. So 2 Cowboys showed their package to 10-year-old girls. It’s strange because both underage girls are the same age. Most of these guys are on here because of drugs. I was most shocked by Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson who won $28 million in the lottery.
Washington Redskins
- Michael Westbrook, WR, Redskins - “One of the all-time first-round receiver busts whose most memorable moment was beating the crap out of Stephen Davis in 1997.”
- Albert Connell, WR, Redskins, Saints - “Re-defined rookie hazing as “stealing the dude’s money.””
- Kenyatta Jones, OT, Patriots, Redskins - “Busted in college for “displaying a firearm” inside a night club, Jones broke from the same-old rap sheet entries by throwing boiling water on his roommate while said roommate was on the toilet. More recently, he was busted for peeing on a dance floor at a night club.”
- Darrell Russell, DT, Raiders, Redskins, Buccaneers - “A promising career was ruined by drug use and allegations of videotaping his friends having sex with a drugged woman. Russell died in a car crash last year after a failed comeback attempt.”
- Daryl Gardener, DT, Dolphins, Redskins, Broncos - “Known for going turdish whenever he got paid big money, Gardener busted his hand in a fight outside a Denver-area IHOP after receiving a huge deal from the Broncos and never was the same again.”
Philadelphia Eagles
- Terrell Owens, WR, 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys - “Single-handedly turned a Super Bowl contender into an also-ran with his selfishness, narcissism, and greed.”
- Bill Romanowski, LB, 49ers, Eagles, Broncos, Raiders - “Walking pharmacy who spit in J.J. Stokes’ face, ended Marcus Williams’ career with a practice field sucker punch, and intentionally broke Dave Meggett’s finger during a pile up. Admitted to steroid use only to sell a book about it.”
- Buddy Ryan, Coach, Vikings, Bears, Eagles, Oilers, Cardinals - “Though we respect Ryan for cutting Cris Carter without exposing (at the time) Carter’s struggles with drugs, this guy was a train wreck as a head coach. Too loud. Too brash. Too reckless. Too impulsive. In other words, the perfect guy to lead our All-Time collection of All-Turds to a Super Bowl.”
- Leonard Tose, Owner - “Gambling and booze caused him to lose the Eagles, and his fortune. Among other things, he once sued a casino for plying him with drinks in order to get him to keep losing money. (Ain’t that standard operating procedure at casinos?)”
New York Giants
- Lawrence Taylor, LB, Giants - “One of the best defensive players in league history, we wonder how effective he might have been if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with drugs, booze, and sex.”
- Bill Belichick, Coach, Colts, Lions, Broncos, Giants, Browns, Patriots, Jets - “He knew that the NFL and other teams were onto his videotaping scam, and yet he continued to do it. His actions created a mess that overshadowed the entire 2007 season and much of the 2008 offseason.”
When a team has an Owner like Wellington Mara for so long, it’s no surprise that there are barely any turds on the All-Time, All-Turd Team. Go Giants!!!
The Countdown to the greatest upset in New York and NFL history since Broadway Joe guaranteed victory over the mighty Colts is 1 day away. The last two weeks has seemed like 2 months to me. The Pats are still favored by 12 points which is clearly not as much as the 18 points that the Colts were favored by.
I apologize to you all for not writing yesterday. I’m not feeling well at all, but I feel a notch better today than yesterday. So we got a HUGE game this Sunday, but it wouldn’t have been if we beat the Redskins. However, the G-MEN like to make us wait until the last possible second to make the Playoffs (i.e., we clinced the Playoffs in the final game of 2006). Since it is almost impossible that we beat the mighty Patriots in the final week, this probably is our final shot at making the Playoffs, unless other teams start losing. Ain’t that something? I think so. This one will be on Peyton’s kid brother’s arm. This is the #1 Draft Pick money shot right here:
